Mexican drug cartel to buy NFL team

Rumor has it the Sinaloa drug cartel is looking to buy the Oakland Raiders. With the team in a total tailspin, the most feared drug cartel in Mexico might be looking to expand its influence to the NFL by purchasing this desperate organization.

Mixed emotions have hit the players association. An anonymous source is quoted as saying “most players are offended at the idea, but some are looking to get out of their contracts so they can join the Raider nation.”

Imagine the fallout! Drugs for Raider players at a virtual “all you can eat” or smoke, buffet of anything from hashish to smack! Roger Goodell thought he had issues, but he ain’t seen nada yet.

Raider fans are ecstatic! “We love the Raiders, we love dope, and were gonna love our owners”, said one fan. The only issue I can really see with this idea is what happens if a player gets an attitude? Or what happens if you boo and run your mouth at how poorly the team is playing?

Most fans aren’t worried. “My uncle Chuey knows some homies already and we are like not even trippin.” Sounds like the NFL is gonna be ‘The Dope’ here in the near future!